The Fate of Carmen

Part 3

By Mark J. DeGregorio, a.k.a.- Lucky

Stephanie entered into the bathroom to finished getting ready for work. She was dressed in her tan suit, matching mini skirt, and light blue dress blouse. She began to apply her mascara when she heard a strange noise. What was that? She thought. Stephanie heard it a second time, this time, recognized it as a gurgling sound of air bubbles in water.

She over-looks the room to figure out where it was originating and figured on the toilet. Carefully she moved to the toilet and lifted the seat. A third gurgling sounded as bubbled surface in the bowl.

Stephanie snapped, “Alright, what’s going on?”

She bends down to examine the bowl when a geyser shot out of the toilet bowl, hitting her square in the face. Stephanie receded away screaming as she got drenched in toilet water. After it was over, Stephanie heard laughter outside the bathroom door. “ALAN!” she grumbled, and jumped over to the door and threw it open.

“What’s the matter sis,” he laughed, “don’t you like toilet humor?”

“I’m going to kill you!” She snarled, and then balled her hand into a fist. Alan immediately turned and ran off with Stephanie in pursuit.

The two ran downstairs and into the ballroom, where James was converting it into a classroom. Stephanie grew tired of the chased and decided to end it there. She powered up an energy field, shaping it into a hyper-dimensional hammer, and pounded her brother over the head, knocking him out.

James glanced at her, then Alan, then back at Stephanie and said, “That’s something new, for someone who doesn’t want to be a superhero, you’ve been doing some work on the side.”

She glared at her fallen brother and replied, “I just worked on some aspects of my abilities.”

“I really don’t think you practiced just to pound Alan,” he theorized, “I think you really want to join us, but are afraid to admit it to yourself.”

Then James smiled and asked, “So, how did you come up with that new use of you powers?”

She grinned, “None of you business, I have my secrets just like you have yours.”

* * * * * * *

Tyler Knight drove her car to a trailer park. She has been searching for a missing agent since early February. Now appointed the new Agent 69, Dominique Fortune, Director of Operations, assigned her to locate Carmen Beauregarde, the former Agent 69.

Tyler got word that she was last seen at a mall in south California, there no one recalled anything that happened there at the time of her disappearance. Her additional investigation leads her to a broken shoeshine kit. The clue of the name of the owner of the shoeshine kit was written in crayon, along with the address. Tyler pulled her car into the park and to the lot written on the shining kit. She got out and looked over the trailer. The kid who lives here must be really poor, she thought.

She walked over to the door and knocked. An enormously fat woman opened the door. Tyler stared at her and thought, my god, she’s incredibly fat. She makes 4X look like a waif chick.

“Well! What do you want!” she snapped.

Tyler was surprised that she was not intimidated by her appearance like most people were, in fact, Tyler was more nervous of this woman standing before her. She cleared the throat and replied, “I’m with A.G.E.N.T. and I’m investigating the disappearance of one of our agents.”

“SO! What does that have to do with us!” she growled.

“Well, I found this at the scene,” Tyler held up the remains of what use to be a crudely made shoeshine kit and continued, “and I need to speak with your son, Franklin.”

The woman scowled then bellowed, “Franklin is my Husband you freak!” then she turned her head into the trailer and shouted, “FRANKLIN! Get you fat, bald-headed butt out here!”

* * * * * * *

A college bus moved up the side of the mountain. They were going on a trip to search caves for a geology class. The professor sat behind the driver giving directions to the caves. All the students were excided about the trip, not to study rocks, but to be in a dark cave to make out in. The only student not excided about the trip was brooding at the back of the bus. For him, things had not gone well for him ever since he was beaten up by his sister in her apartment. Just because he wanted to make a few extra dollars through extortion, she had to go all elasticity on him.

Just then, he was hit in the face with a stream of cola, followed by laughter. “Ah, poor Kevin, can’t hold sodas just like he can’t hold a girl.”

Kevin Turner turned to face Nick Thomson, and his cronies Brad Murdock and Percy Evans, aka Kong, and said, “The only reason you get the girls is because you’re the captain of the football team.”

“Your point being?” Nick questioned.

Nick’s girlfriend approached and said, “Never mind the little pervert, we came up for those nice dark caves, where nobody can see what we’re doing…”

Nick smiled at the thought of her meaning, then turned to Kevin and said, “You’re lucky Gloria’s here or me and the boys would tear you apart right here.”

As Nick, Gloria, brad, and Kong went back to their seats, Kevin thought, if I had super powers like Nonie, I’d really show her, I’d show everyone.

The bus stopped at the caverns and everyone stepped off. The driver leaned back into his seat, tipped his hat over his eyes, and took a nap. After the professor gave his usual “don’t” instructions, he led the students into the cave. Inside, it was dark and the students were instructed to use their flashlights. Nick smiled and turned to Brad and asked, “Hey, did you flipped the batteries around Kevin’s flashlight?”

“Yeah.”

“This should fix that little pervert.” Nick laughed.

As the students descended deeper into the cavernous darkness, Kevin flicked his flashlight on. When it would not light, he tried to shake it, and then tried hitting it, but it would not come on. The others were already out of sight and Kevin stood there in the dark. “I bet Nick did this.” He grumbled.

He stretches out his hands and slowly felt his way through the darkness. He moved about thirty feet when the ground below his feet disappeared. Kevin started to fall and landed along the side slope of the cavern. He slid down forty-eight feet and rested at the bottom ledge of the cave. He opened his flashlight and pulled out the batteries. He felt that one of the batteries was turned around, and placed it in the right way. After he replaced the head of the flashlight on, he turned it on and moved the light around to see his surroundings.

Again, he wished he had superpowers, like his dim-witted sister, to get out of this mess. She would just stretch herself up to the top, he thought.

Kevin moved the light around to find another way out when the light gleamed on something near a rock. “Hey, what’s that?”

He moved towards the object and lifted it from where it was nudged into a nook along the wall of the cave. It’s a bottle, fancy one at that, he thought then looked it over. “Too bad there’s no beer or booze in there.”

Kevin set the flashlight down and grabbed the cork, yanking it off. To his surprise, a puff of smoke exited the bottle and a woman appeared before him. She had long dark curly hair and the skimpiest outfit he has only seen in fantasy movies. “Are you a Genie?” He asked.

She glared at his and exclaimed, “No! I’m not a Genie, I’m an evil sorceress who’s going to turn you into a chimp, then kill my ex-husband and his new wife, then that stupid rubbery redhead who caused my defeat.”

“Wait,” Kevin uttered, “you know my stupid sister, Nonie?”

“She’s your sister.” Linda asked.

“Yeah, and I hate her just as much as you.” He replied, “and as for the chimp, I was the one who got you out of that bottle, why punish your rescuer?”

Kevin thought for a moment then said, “You know, if I had some superpowers of my own, you could get your ex-hubbie, and I could get my sister.”

Linda lifted an eyebrow and asked, “And what would you want?”

Kevin smiled, “Oh, I don’t know, something that would take on a rubbery girl.”

Linda began chanting a spell and Kevin started to glow. When the spell was completed, she said, “Alright, I gave you the elemental power of fire. With it you will create and control fire.”

Kevin tested it out by sending a flame jet across the cavern. Then he turned to Linda and said, “Okay, let’s get out of this hole in the ground.”

Linda cast a teleportation spell and they appeared outside the caves by the bus. He looked at the bus and thought how his classmates were butt-holes. He thought of how funny it would be to get them stranded here of a while. Kevin lit his hand aflame and sent a flame stream towards the bus. When the bus caught fire, Linda teleported them as the driver ran out of the bus before it exploded.

Linda and Kevin arrived in a field just outside of town. Linda waved her hand and chanted an incantation and a stone tower appeared before them. The two entered and climbed the steps to the top. They entered Linda’s private chambers as she summoned a scrying orb from a table across the room. Kevin watched as it glows vibrantly in Linda’s hand as she peered into the where about of her ex-husband.

* * * * * * *

Franklin and Tyler walked around to talk on the back porch, well, cement slab anyway. Franklin, being the gentleman he was, sat in the comfortable rocking chair leaving Tyler to sit on a hard wooden cable spool. Tyler asked, “So, what can you tell me about Carmen?”

“Well, what does she look like?” he asked.

“She is attractive woman with long dark hair. She usually wears a purple jumpsuit.”

Franklin smiled and answered, “Oh yeah, I remember her. She was there when the T-Rex showed up.”

Tyler eyes opened wide then gasped, “The T-Rex?”

“Yeah, me and these other heroes fought the T-Rex, but I,” Franklin stood up and began to flex his imaginary muscles and continued, “being Captain Wonderful, defeated the Tyrannosaurs and saved the day.”

Elizabeth stuck her head out of the window and screamed; “Are You telling her about that stupid Captain Wonderful bull-shit of yours?”

“Nooooooooooooo!”

Oh great, next thing will probably be about aliens from outer space, Tyler thought, why do I find myself being dragged into these things?

Tyler looked at the overweight, middle-aged, balding man and asked, “Not that I believe you or anything, but is there anything you could tell me about these heroes you mentioned?”

Franklin thought for a moment, then said, “I remember this rubber girl in a green and yellow two piece outfit. It was the same girl and her friends who were at the comic book convention.”

“Comic book Convention?” Tyler questioned.

“Yeah, that’s when we fought a pumpkin-headed spirit, who brought an army of the dead to life. And of coarse, I,” Franklin took his heroic stance once again and continued, “Captain Wonderful, had to save the day once more.”

When I took this promotion to 69 status, I didn’t think I have to put up with these type of things, Tyler thought. She glanced at the bald-headed crackpot and asked, “So, when did this incident take place?”

Franklin rubbed his fat baldhead and said, “Halloween, two years ago. So, do you want to hear more about Captain Wonderful?”

“NO! I mean... I have enough information I need from you, Thanks, bye.” Then Tyler ran to her car and sped away.

Oh boy, looks like Captain Wonderful is becoming famous, he thought and went back into the trailer to an angry wife.

“I told you to stop telling people about that stupid Captain Wonder-dork!” Elizabeth screamed.

“No, it’s Captain WonderFUL.” Franklin said, and after that, he saw stars from Elizabeth’s fists.

* * * * * * *

Alan arrived to where Carmen, formally known Agent 69, and currently a killer whale, mommy to be. He began to help with her delivery. The rubber-twins waited on the beach, spell book in hand, for her to give birth to her baby whale.

Carmen had done this before, but not as a whale. For Alan J. Foster, super genius, this was a first. Since he was the only one who could go underwater indefinitely, He had to play doctor with a twenty-eight foot, purple killer whale. After thirty-five minutes of Carmen complaining, yelling at him, and even once smacking him with her tail, she gave birth to a ninety-pound baby whale.

“It’s a girl.” Alan informed Carmen.

The infant swam around Agent 69 and Alan, when he asked, “So, what are you going to name her?”

A million names whirled around in her head, but one name stood out above all the others, “Carmen.”

Gee, that’s original, he thought, I see none of this effected her the least, but she IS bigger then me… “Carmen it is then.”

As Alan turned to swim back to shore, Carmen shouted, “Wait, now that I gave birth, I want to be changed back.”

Alan stopped and turned back to the huge purple whale and said, “You just gave birth, shouldn’t you rest up before being changed back?”

“I’m ready right now!” she shouted back.

Alan knew that this was not good, asked, “What about little Carmen over there,” pointing at the infant whale, “are you going to leave her mother-less?”

“Tell you what,” she answered, “I’ll appoint you her guardian. Now get me changed back NOW!”

Alan, Agent 69, and baby Carmen swam to shore. Alan exited the water, approached the twins, and said, “She wants to be change back right this minute.”

“So, what did she have?” Nonie asked.

Alan rolled his eyes and sighed, “A girl.”

“Ahhhhh how cute, Girls Rule!” Nonie smiled.

Patricia glared at her dim-witted sister and snapped, “Do you always have to act like such an idiot all the time!”

“Look who’s talking…” Nonie snapped back before Alan jumped in to stop yet, another fight, before one got started.

Alan said, “Look, I’ll take little Carmen to the side…”

“Little Carmen?” the rubber-twins uttered out load.

“Yeah, Carmen, anyway, I’ll take the infant over there so as to not be changed. Carmen will be right there.” Then he pointed to where the purple whale was located. Alan then entered the water and took the baby whale away from the spot where Agent 69 floated.

Nonie opened the spell book to the place she and Patricia had marked and read over the spell to them selves. When they were ready, the twins held hands and recited, “This whale will not do, change her back to ab normal being.”

“AB!” Patricia shouted, “Nonie you idiot! It’s supposed to be A!”

“A.” the redhead whined.

Patricia snapped, “Yes, A! As in, a normal being!”

Slowly they turned to face the water to see what had happened. Dark brown hair emerged from the water, followed by a purple head. Carmen came wadding out of the water on two large front flippers and a tail flipper. Aside from the angry expression on her face, she also had whiskers on her upper mouth and two very long pointed teeth stretching down from her mouth. “You IDOITS! You turned me into a walrus!”

“Oh well, at lease you can’t hit us as a walrus.” Nonie retorted.

Alan can out of the water when he saw Agent 69 turned from a whale to a walrus. He knew she was going to be pist-off at the rubber-twins. He was almost out of the water when he saw her leap into the air, landing on the twins. Uh-oh, too late, he thought.

Alan moved in for a closer look as Carmen began to roll off the girls. Both Patricia and Nonie were splattered flat on the sand. Patricia peeled her head up and twisted it to look at Nonie, who also peeled her head up as well. Patricia flatly mocked, “Oh, she can’t hit us as a walrus!”

“Hey, I didn’t think walruses could jump.” Nonie replied.

“No,” Patricia snapped, “you just didn’t think at all!”

The girls continued to peel the rest of their bodies from the sandy ground and then re-inflated them selves to normal size. Afterwards, Alan, the twins, and the walrus 69 started for home.

* * * * * * *

Alan rented a U-Haul truck and loaded Carmen in the back. He got into the driver’s seat with Nonie and Patricia sitting next to him. “Are you sure Stephanie won’t mine you using her credit card to pay for this?” Nonie asked.

Alan smiled and said, “Nah, besides, it’s for a good cause.”

“And was the stop for pizza was a good cause too?” Patricia added.

“Well, yeah.” He grinned, “We have to keep up our strength, don’t we?”

The truck pulled up to the front gate and Alan rolled down the window and entered a code and the gates opened. As the truck drove in, a massive figure ran in through the gate and ducked behind some shrubbery.

Alan parked the truck in front of the house as James came out to learn why he had a U-Haul truck. “We have Carmen in the back.” Alan said.

James looked at the truck and said, “I’m afraid to ask this, but why is Carmen riding in the back?”

The rubber-twins unlatched the doors and opened them. The six hundred pound, purple walrus waddled out of the truck. “These two knot-heads screwed up again!” she wailed.

“Hey, it’s not our fault you got turned into a walrus!” Nonie protested.

“Yeah,” Patricia added, “it’s Nonie’s fault she’s a walrus.”

* * * * * * *

Tyler entered the convention center and found an employee to get the manager of the center. When he arrived, she asked, “What can you tell me about Halloween two years ago.”

The other employees stopped what they were doing and stared at her. The manager pulled her aside and said, “That’s a touchy subject around here.”

Tyler looked over her shoulder at the workers who quickly went back to work and said, “Obviously, something happened that night.”

“Like I said,” He stated, “It’s a touchy subject around here.”

As the two walked, he explained, “That night was terrifying. Have you ever heard of Samhain?”

Tyler, being a gothic, she was familiar with the occult and it’s legends. She answered, “He’s suppose to be the spirit of all hallows eve, the night where evil rules before all saints day.”

“Well, he’s real, and he nearly destroyed this place.”

“What?” she gasped.

He explained, “Samhain came forth after this fan-boy superhero wannabe took the staff of Hallo and placed it into the pillar of Eve. Then Samhain raised the dead and try to take this place.”

Wow, that baldheaded wacko was telling me the truth, at least about the evil spirit, Tyler thought.

They came to a room and entered it. “I was keeping this as a memory of the heroes who saved everyone’s lives.” He said.

He reached for a life-size cardboard cutout of a slender redheaded girl in a green and yellow two-piece outfit, stretching one of her arms around. Tyler recalled the wacko mentioning a heroine matching this description with Carmen the day she disappeared.

Tyler asked, “Is there anything else about her, I need to find her.”

The convention center manager responded, “They did have a booth that night, I should have a record of her in my files.”

He went to a filing cabinet and began searching though the records. After a few moments, he found the file. Tyler looked it over and wrote down the address, thanked him for all his help and made her way out of the convention center.

* * * * * * *

All stood by as the rubber-twins took a position before Agent 69. The two looked over the book again and found another spell to transform her back. Nonie drew a circle on the ground around Carmen with salt, while Patricia placed and lit five candles along the circle. When they were finished, they stood five feet from Carmen, held hands, and began to recite the spell from their father’s magic book.

Carmen started to glow as the magical energy wrapped around her. Moments later, she glowed with an intensity of a star. Agent 69 could feel herself being changed out of a walrus. It was the first time she did not feel like she was enormously fat. Then something unexpected happened. She felt herself becoming smaller than she was suppose to be.

When the gleaming light faded, she was cylindered shaped about four and a haft inches tall with an outer diameter of four and a quarter inched, an inner diameter of one and three quarters inches. Her body’s consistency was that of flimsy paper.

All were silent before Stephanie shouted, “You Numb-Skulls! You turned her into Toilet Paper!”

Carmen was a roll of purple toilet paper with eyes, but what made it worse for her was that she could not talk, otherwise, she be tramping up a storm about now. She was aware of her surroundings, and she had the capability to think, but could not move or speak.

James glared at the girls and yelled, “What did you do this time?”

Nonie flipped though the book and said, “I can’t figure what went wrong.”

Penny walked over, looked at the book, and noticed something wrong, said, “Hey, there’s two pages stuck together, you have the beginning of one spell here, and the end of another spell over here.”

James began to rub his temples and ordered, “Nonie, take Carmen into the house, then we’re all going to see Gordo. Maybe he can fix this mess.”

Nonie snatched Carmen off the ground, ran her to the upstairs bathroom, and sat her down on the stand by the toilet. She then ran down and out of the door to catch up with the others.

As soon as they were gone, the massive body emerged from the shrubs and said, “Now to see what grub they have to eat.”

Juan Tun moved to the front door and pushed it open, thought, I see that stick girl is as stupid as ever, not locking the door. Juan came to a control panel and thought, maybe I better open the gate just in case I need a quick get away.

The obese villain pressed a button and opened the gate, then made his away to the kitchen. He had eaten about half of what was in the refrigerator when he heard the doorbell. Wait, it couldn’t be them, they wouldn’t ring the doorbell. Juan placed his two-pound sandwich on the table and moved to answer the door.

He pulled open the door and saw a cute gothic-like girl standing at the door. She had on a pink and red bodysuit, which most gothic girls usually did not wear. Despite the facial piercing and a purple star tattooed on her left check just below her eye, Juan Tun couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her hair was jet black except for some pink strands along her bangs, which unfortunately, reminded him of that rubbery stick girl. Juan watched her black lips as she asked, “I’m searching for a missing agent, is there a rubbery heroine living here?”

Juan began to drift off as he thought, She’s beautiful, she’d would be perfect if she were at least three hundred pounds heaver, but I could fix that easy.

“Hello, Are you zoning out?” She asked waving her hand in front of his face.

Juan shook his head back into reality as she continued, “I said I’m looking for a fellow agent, and my search lead me to this address.”

“What’s your name, sweat-heart.” Juan grinned.

She let out a sigh, then said, “My name is Tyler Knight, and I’m looking for an elastic super heroine who was suppose to live here.”

“A skinny, stick of a girl. Red and pink hair, green and yellow costume…” he replied.

Her eyes brighten as she said, “Yeah, that’s her!”

“She’s not here right now, BUT, if you leave your name, address, and phone number, I’ll personally make sure she sees it.”

“Good,” she pulled out a piece of paper, began writing on it, and continued, “I’ll also leave my cell phone on here too. Make sure she calls me as soon as possible.”

The overweight man took the paper, looked at it, and then said, “Oh, she’ll get the note alright.”

As she turned to leave, the enormous villain thought, right after I copy this information for myself, I’ll fatten you up to be my bride. Juan closed the door, ran into the room where that Halloween party was held, pulled out a pad from the hutch. He quickly copied down the information, and then stuck the note Tyler wrote on the back of the front door.

“Now where was I…Oh yeah, getting a snack.” Then Juan Tun made his way back into the kitchen.

After he ate his sandwich, he made a few more things to eat. When he was full, and for him, that was an accomplishment, he said, “That was good, now that I ate there’s something else, I need to do.”

He exited the kitchen and made his way to the sitting room. There, Juan, grabbed the newspaper from the end table, and stuffed it under his left arm. He then made his way up the stairs.

Carmen was still sitting in the bathroom where Nonie had left her. She was still fuming at what the rubber-twins had done to her. Things couldn’t get any worse, she thought until an enormously fat man entered the bathroom, carrying a newspaper under his arm. It didn’t take a super genius to figure out what was going to happen next. Oh my God, It’s officially the worst situation possible.

The robust man pulled down his pants and sat down on the commode. He began to read the paper when he ripped out a deafening fart, followed by a splash from within the toilet bowl. Carmen was completely helpless as the aroma for Juan’s stink reached her nose. I can’t move or talk, but why do I have to smell him taking a crap, It’s not fair, she thought. Another fart and another splash and Agent 69 began gasping for air. This is what it’s like in a septic tank, Carmen thought.

After five minutes of being trapped in the bathroom with Juan’s farts and him crapping, Carmen’s eyes began to water from the stench. Things couldn’t get any worse then this, she thought, until Juan said, “Where’s the toilet paper?”

Carmen began to panic, Oh please don’t see me… Oh, please don’t see me… Oh, please don’t see me… Juan Looked around the bathroom then said, “Oh well, I guess I’ll have to use this purple roll of toilet paper.”

He grabbed Carmen and stood up, bringing her ever so closer to his enormously fat buttocks. Carmen closed her eyes before she rubbed up against his butt cheeks, I better get a raise from the agency after this. Juan wiped himself, then turned her around and used the other side for a second wipe, then he dropped her into the toilet. While she floated in his droppings, Juan Tun washed his hands. Before he exited the bathroom, he turned and flushed the toilet, and said, “Better flush, it’s the very least I should do.”

As Carmen whirled around the bowl, she bumped into some of Juan’s manure, then she found herself stuck in the drain of the toilet. Afterwards, something began to happen to her, she began to go through a transformation.

Juan snuck out the back door as everyone came back to the house. They got to the front door and found it was unlocked. After James finished scolding Nonie for leaving it unlock, they entered the house.

“Nonie, go get Carmen.” James instructed.

As Nonie ran up the stairs, Penny went into the kitchen to prepare dinner. As soon as Penny entered the kitchen, she screamed, “James!”

James, Stephanie and Gordo ran to the kitchen and saw the mess there. “What the heck happened here!” Stephanie snapped.

“I don’t know,” Penny grumbled, “but more then haft of the food in the refrigerator is gone.”

“EEYEEEWW!”

“What now!” James sighed.

They exited the kitchen to find Nonie standing at the top of the stairs, “Eeyeeww, Eeyeeww, someone stunk up the bathroom and flooded it.”

Beaker noticed the note taped to the door and said, “Maybe this might give up a clue.”

James took the note and read it to himself, then pulled out his cell phone and called the number.

Upstairs, Nonie, Patricia, and Alan were trying to see who’d go in to clean the bathroom. “I say water boy should go in there.” Patricia snapped.

“Forget you.” He responded.

Patricia placed her hands on her hips and gripped, “Well, I’m not going to go in there, I’m much to important to do cleaning work.”

Downstairs, James got off the phone and said, “Great, that was another agent looking for Carmen.”

Penny looked upstairs and asked, “Do you think we can restore her before the other agent arrives?”

“We’ll see,” James answered, then turned to the second floor and shouted, “Nonie, will you get Carmen down here now!”

“But it stinks in there!”

“I don’t what you smell in there, just bring her down NOW!” James yelled.

Nonie, Alan, and Patricia looked at one another, to see who will open the door. All three took a deep breath and Nonie pushed the door open. After a moment, when their eyes stopped watering, they saw that the toilet was now purple. It too, had eyes stilling watering and the three realized that Carmen was the toilet. Carmen gasped, “Will someone open the dam window and spray some air freshener in here!”

Patricia stretched her arms over to the window and opened it. She then shaped her arm into a rotary fan to help remove the stink from the air. Alan grabbed the air freshener and began to empty the can as if it were a fire extinguisher. Nonie stretched her upper body and neck downstairs and uttered, “Houston, we have a problem.”

“Where’s Carmen?” James demanded.

“Uh, still in the bathroom.”

“Why?”

Nonie, knowing what would happen if she answered, mumbled, “Because she’s bolted to the floor…”

“What happen up there!” He demanded.

Nonie pulled her neck back from his reach and said, “She’s been turned into the toilet upstairs.”

Before he could yell at her, the doorbell rang. “Oh great, she’s here already. Alright everyone, try to act normal.”

Stephanie looked at everyone in the room and sarcastically said, “You mean this bunch; we’ll never pull it off.”

“Shut up Steph, everyone smile, look normal,” then James turned to Beaker, “either change into your human disguise or get the heck out of the room.”

Beaker held up his hands and saw that they were blue, then pressed the button on his watch and transformed into his human disguise, said, “All set.”

James walked to the door and opened it. Tyler Knight from A.G.E.N.T. was standing at the door, said, “I understand that, this may sound stupid, but an elastic super heroine lives here.”

“What makes you think that?” James asked.

Tyler pointed to the back of him and said, “Well, for starters, there’s a girl stretched across the room from the upstairs covering her eyes.”

Slowly James turned to see Nonie trying to hide herself unsuccessfully, then back to Tyler and said, “She’s not real, it’s a prop.”

Patricia stretched her upper body downstairs and asked, “So, what are we going to do about Carmen being turned into a toilet?”

“WHAT!!!” Tyler shouted.

I’m going to tie those girls into a knot they can’t get out of, James thought.

“My god, there really are rubber girls.” Tyler cried, “And did she say Carmen was turned into a toilet?”

“Come in and we’ll explain everything.” James sighed.

After twenty-five minutes of telling her everything, Tyler said, “Even with everything I’ve seen from my time with A.G.E.N.T. This is the first time I heard of anything this crazy.”

James asked, “How did you find us anyway?”

Tyler replied, “This baldheaded wacko told me about the mall incident last Christmas. He kept telling me about this Captain…Whatever…”

“Franklin.” Nonie, Alan, and Stephanie sighed.

“Anyway,” she continued, “there was this hugely fat guy who answered the door, said you were out.”

A huge fat guy, James thought, then asked, “Was he a tall, enormous guy, wearing a brown spandex bodysuit with white trim?”

“Yeah.”

“One Ton, printed on it?”

“Yeah.”

James scowled, “Juan Tun! So he’s the one who trashed my house and ate all the food!”

Tyler asked, “Friend of yours?”

“Not really, more of an annoyance.” James grumbled.

“I still can’t believe that you guys are aliens.” Tyler said.

James and Beaker shared a glance, then James said, “We told you because you need to know, No matter what, do not tell anyone about anything we told you here today.”

“As if anyone would believe me.” Tyler assured them.

Gordo got up and said, “Well, if we’re going to change Carmen back, we may well get started.”

As the others got up, the front door exploded inward with a fireball blast. A short guy wearing a red and yellow costume entered through the flames and said, “Knock-Knock sis, guess who.”

Nonie recognized the voice, said, “Kevin?”

“Congratulations sis, you just won the booby prize…” Kevin held up his hand, “…a brand new FIREBALL!” and flames exited from his hand.

Nonie and the others scattered as Kevin mocked, “As Beavis would say, FIRE…FIRE…FIRE…”

As Nonie and Patricia ran into the ballroom, Patricia snapped, “I always knew that step-brother of yours was a toady!”

James shouted, “Stop burning my house!”

Kevin turned towards James and said, “Let me introduce myself, I am SCORCH! And I scorch things like this.” then shot a fiery blast at James.

James’ shirt caught fire. He merely pulled it off and cast it aside with the fire having no effect on him. “It’s never easy.”

“That’s right, it’s never quite so easy, is it?” a voice from behind him mocked.

James turned to see his ex standing behind him as she laughed, “Scorch was only the distraction for the main power, me!”

Linda chanted a word and magical energy hit him in his mid section sending him through five walls of his house. “Woopsy, did I break your precious home?”

Linda searched the room and said, “Now where’s that tramp you married.”

She teleported herself out of the room, and into the room Penny was in. “Hello, remember me from our last encounter?” Linda smiled.

Penny replied, “A lot of things have change since you were bottled.”

“My hatred of you hasn’t change.” Linda responded and sent magical missiles at Penny.

To Linda’s surprise, Penny moved faster then the missiles, which blew away the wall. Penny mocked, “You’ll have to be faster then that, a lot faster!”

The rubber-twins jumped out of the flames way and out the other door and circled back to the entry hall. The two slammed the door shut when Scorch began to burn it with a fire blast. They got their breath and moved away before the door completely burned away.

The girls ran through the kitchen where Tyler pulled out her gun to shoot Scorch, but he sent a flame jet towards the table she was hiding behind. Her gun fell out of her reach and Scorch hit it with a flame blast making it red hot and gloated, “Ah-ah, mustn’t touch. Think you’re hot stuff, you ain’t so hot without that!”

Scorch raised his hand to blast Tyler into ashes when Stephanie threw up and energy force field to stop his flames from frying them both.

Stephanie yelled, “Where in the heck is that pea-brain brother of mine?” knowing that she might not be able to hold this firebug off forever, continued, “He should be able to stop his fire attacks!”

Stephanie turned to locate Alan as Tyler asked, “What can he do?”

“Alan! Wherever you are! Get you butt over here and help us!” Stephanie screamed.

“He can’t do nothing,” Scorch scorned, “and as soon as I toast you two, I’ll melt those rubber band girls!”

Stephanie looked at Alan as he entered the kitchen and yelled, “Well, it’s about dam time you showed up!”

Scorch turned to see Alan, grinned, “Oh look who we have here, the boyfriend. Guess I’ll just have to put you out of your misery.”

Before he could launch a flame attack, Alan’s eyes glowed white, and the faucets on the kitchen sink began to tremble until they burst open. As water sprayed out, Alan began to absorb it into his body until he became water.

Scorch gasped, “What the heck is he doing?”

“He’s going to kick your butt is what he’s going to do!” Stephanie gloated.

Alan released a water stream at one hundred psi, sending the fiery villain into the wall. Stephanie dropped her force field and gripped, “So, what in the heck were you doing all this time?”

“What the heck do you think, keeping the house from burning to the ground!” he snapped back.

Tyler was amazed. She could not help herself as she placed her hand on the watery body of Alan Foster. She watched as her hand went into his body. Cleary it felt like water as she pulled it back out, it was wet as if she dipped it into a bucket of water. Looking at Alan reminded her of the movie the abyss. She and the two heroes departed the kitchen to help with stopping Linda.

Linda tried very hard to blast Penny, but about all she could do was cause more destruction to the house. “Will you hold still for a minute?” she snapped.

“So you can get me.” Penny responded, “I don’t think so.”

As she continued to attack at Penny, Beaker and Gordo flanked Linda in an attempt to stop her rampage. Gordo cast a missile spell of his own, but Linda teleported away and the missile hit Beaker sending him through a wall.

Linda reappeared behind Gordo and blasted him with her own missile, Linda looked at her brother and said, “Stay out of this, it’s between me and James.”

Linda turned to see Penny run upstairs. She levitated herself into the air and resume blasting at Penny. Nonie and Patricia ran into Tyler and looked up at Linda hovering above. Alan resume putting out the fires Scorch had started. Patricia smiled and said, “I have an idea… Cannonball Express!”

“Oh no, I hate that plan!” Nonie gripped.

Tyler asked, “What’s the Cannonball Express?”

Patricia began to shape herself into a cartoon-like cannon and said, “It’s where I become a cannon…”

Nonie crossed her arms and sighed, “…and I’m suppose to be the ball.”

“Ready when you are.” Patricia said.

“I don’t what to be the ball!”

The barrel of the cannon smiled and asked, “Steph, would you do the honors?”

As soon as Stephanie did her trademarked psychotic smile, Nonie turned to run away. Stephanie released light energy, shaping it into a ball around Nonie. She then contracted it into the size of a basketball. Then Stephanie created a hand to grab the Nonie ball.

As Stephanie loaded her into the cannon, Nonie snapped, “I hate you for this.”

“Shut up and get in there.” Stephanie laughed.

As soon as the cannon was loaded, Stephanie asked Tyler, “How good a shot are you?”

“Top ten with A.G.E.N.T. I’m a marksman.”

Tyler took the rubber cannon and aimed it at the sorceress above. When she was satisfied with the alignment, she said, “Ready!”

“I’m not.” Nonie whined.

“FIRE!” shouted Stephanie.

Tyler pulled the firing cord and Nonie shot out. Linda thought, did she said; fire, but before Linda could react, Nonie slammed into her back sending both smashing through the door and into the upstairs bathroom. Penny ran to see what had happened. As the others ran up the stairs and to the bathroom to see Nonie sitting on top of Linda, who had knocked herself out from the impact with the bathroom door.

James flew over and saw his ex resting on the floor near the purple toilet. Carmen complained, “How about changing me back to normal!”

James replied, “First things First, Beaker!”

As he arrived, he discovered that his watch got broken when he was knocked through the wall. Tyler gasped at seeing him in his true form, but didn’t run away. She knew he was the same man, despite his exterior appearance.

“Beaker, I want you to do a mind wipe on her.” James commanded.

Beaker looked at Linda and said, “A mind wipe may not work completely, she could regain her memories again, then again, it could be permanently erased. Your call.”

James thought for a moment, “Do it.”

Beaker moved over to Linda, placed his hands on her head and started the process. After he had finished, he said, “It’s done, but I don’t know whether it’s permanent or temporary.”

James looked at him and said, “I just hope that it works.”

“Hey, How about me!” Carmen protested.

Suddenly a vortex appeared and out jumped Dementia cackled, “I’m Baaaaack!”

“Dementia!” all at once cried.

She flew over to Carmen and said, “Ooooh, I love what you’ve done with yourself.”

“Change me back to be human! NOW!” Carmen demanded.

Dementia smiled, “But a toilet so fits you.”

“How about this!” she chuckled, and waved her hand. The toilet began to glow, all the purple was pulled away from the toilet and hung into the air. Dementia then cracked an evil grin as she thought of a purely evil idea. She pointed at Linda’s body and said, “This is where you belong!”

The purple essences of Carmen were sucked into Linda’s body as Carmen cried, “Wait!”

“There, now snotty girl’s been permanently fused into that woman’s bottom!” Dementia laughed, then flew over to Nonie then said, “Oh, by the way…”

Dementia produced the Elasticity action figure and said, “I hated the Christmas present you gave me.” Then she threw it at Nonie, bouncing it off her head.

“Now for some FUN!” she joyfully said and flew out of one of the holes in the mansion.

Nonie rubbed her head and said, “Shouldn’t we go after her?”

James said, “You guys can, I have something else I need to do.”

The others went down and saw that Kevin aka Scorch was gone, escaped when know one was watching.

* * * * * * *

At the wrestling arena, Juan Tun had just pinned his opponent and won his match. The referee approached Juan as he did his victory dance of jumping around the ring flopping his enormous belly around. The announcer screamed, “Juan Tun won by a pin!”

The crowd roared at Juan winning then suddenly grew quite as the doors to the entry ramp burst opened. All looked including Juan Tun to see who kicked open the door. The announcer screamed, “Oh my God! It’s the Atomic Crusher, and is he mad about something!”

James marched down the entry ramp shouted, “Juan Tun! You break into my house! Eat all my food! Trash my house! Now you and me are fixing to go to war!”

As James got to the end of the ramp, he grabbed the top rope and did an over-the-rope flip, landing four feet from Juan Tun. James shouted, “You and me, now!”

Juan Tun knew that even if he was to make his weight to over a couple of tons, James could still lift him into the air. He was almost invulnerable except for his head. Then again, James was invulnerable. He was strong, however, James was stronger then him. Juan Tun moaned, “Ah oh.”