Moving Day

By Mark J. DeGregorio, aka- Lucky

Alan noticed a piece of paper tacked to their door, answered, “Maybe this Notice of Eviction stuck to our door has something to do with it.”

Nonie and Stephanie’s heads popped up to see the paper and cried out in unison, “NOTICE OF EVICTION!”

“How can they evict us?” Nonie asked.

Stephanie growled, “Elizabeth did it.”

“Maybe we should’ve paid the rent.” Alan added.

Nonie looked at the locked door and asked, “How are we going to get our stuff?”

Stephanie mumbled, “Nonie could flatten herself and slip under the door. God knows…she had a lot of practice flattening herself.”

“But we don’t have a steamroller, wringer, steam press, or even an anvil to flatten her with” Alan grinned.

“Hello, I’m standing right here.” Nonie annoying responded as she waved her hands to get them to see her.

Stephanie turned to Nonie and instructed, “Nonie, flatten yourself out and then slip yourself under the door.”

Nonie started to concentrate on flat. From the front there was no change, but from the side of her, she was becoming thinner. Within moments, Nonie was flattened to a mere paper cutout of herself. “I hope there isn’t any big gust of wind.” She said.

“When you get inside, unlock the door and let us in.” Stephanie said.

Nonie began to curl herself down to the ground, pushing her head through the crack under the door. After she got her chest and stomach through, she pulled her arms around to help pull her in the rest of the way. Nonie was lying facedown on the floor of their apartment. She began to flip herself over where she was facing up. Nonie then pulled herself off the floor and unlocked the door. Stephanie and Alan entered the apartment as Nonie asked, “How was that?”

“You did good.” Stephanie answered.

Alan looked at Nonie and asked, “You know you’re flat?”

“Will everyone stop with the flat-chested jokes?” Nonie loudly gripped.

“No, I mean…you’re still a two-dimensional cutout version of yourself.” Alan informed her.

Nonie looked at her hands, and then at her body and saw that she WAS flat sighed, “Oh, I forgot to un-flatten myself.”

Nonie began to inflate to her normal size. Stephanie was already gathering her things when Nonie was her normal shape. “Are we really going to leave our apartment?” Nonie asked.

Stephanie stopped and looked at her roommate and said, “I don’t see how we have a choice.”

“Maybe if we talk to Elizabeth, explain it to her, maybe she’ll let us stay.” Nonie brightly suggested.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and said, “Tell you what, YOU go down there and do that.”

Nonie smiled, “She’ll let us stay, you’ll see.” And she walked out of the apartment.

Alan approached his sister and asked, “Do you think she’ll talk her into letting us stay?”

Stephanie glared at Alan and said; “Start packing.”

* * * * * * *

Downstairs, Elizabeth was in the kitchen washing the dishes when Nonie came to their door and rang the bell. Franklin was sitting in front of the television watching a football game, hollered, “Elizabeth…Someone’s at the door!”

From the kitchen, Elizabeth shouted, “Well, get it!”

“But, it too far! I can’t reach the door!” Franklin whined.

Elizabeth poked her head out from the kitchen and saw Franklin sitting in the living room watching TV. She yelled, “I said…get the door!”

“But I’m watching the football game.” He sighed.

“Franklin!” Elizabeth scowled, “You are the most useless person on the planet!” and she walked to the door.

Elizabeth saw the stupid, skinny little redhead from 202evicted, standing before her. She was all smiles and said, “Elizabeth, I came here to see if I could talk you into letting us stay in the apartment.”

Elizabeth gave a large maniacal smile.

* * * * * * *

In the apartment, Alan and Stephanie had gathered most of their things when they heard a slight knock at the door. The two went to see who it was, opened the door and looked around. “Who knocked?” Alan asked.

“Down here.”

Alan and Stephanie both looked down to see a squashed Nonie. She looked like a pancake with her face pressed on top of it. Nonie’s only mobility was her two hands and fingers, as she scurried into the apartment like a crab, “She said NO!” Nonie gripped.

Stephanie eyes were widening as she asked, “What happen down there?”

Nonie explained, “After I asked her if we could stay, she beat me up, tied me into a knot and then sat on me.”

Alan quivered and said, “That’s going where no one has gone before.”

Stephanie picked Nonie up and grabbed her nose and instructed Alan to get her feet. The two pulled at Nonie from two directions and stretched her out. They then untied the knots Elizabeth had put into her.

* * * * * * *

Beaker dropped Patricia off at the Connling estate. She had a day of hell and all she wants to do is rest up. Patricia started this day teasing Nonie, and ending with finding out that she was an alien from another world. She entered the front door and was greeted by Wendell, the butler. “Master Nathan wishes to see you.”

Patricia sighed, “Oh, what does daddy want now?”

“He is waiting for you in his study.” He informed her.

In his study, Patricia thought, which always meant she was in trouble.

As he indicated her to follow him to the study, said, “This way Ms. Patricia”.

Annoyed, Patricia snapped, “I know where the study is!” and she started to head for the study, she mumbled to herself, “God knows, I’ve been there enough times.”

Patricia opened the door and saw her father sitting at his desk with several bills lying around. Patricia smiled and said, “You wanted to…”

“Look at all these bills! Do you have any idea at the concept of money!” he yelled.

Before Patricia could open her mouth to answer, he continued, “I had you get that job at the market to learn how hard it is to earn money, and you stayed with it for three days before quitting!”

“But daddy…” she pleaded.

“Don’t “but daddy” me!” he shouted, “From here on out, you are cutoff from my wallet!”

Patricia was now angry, shouted, “You’re not my real father!”

Nathan glared at Patricia and then replied, “So, you know all about your adoption.”

“Yea, and I’ll bet he wouldn’t treat me this badly.” Patricia snapped.

“So, you think I treat you badly…” he said and pushed a button on the intercom, “…Wendell, could you come in here please?”

After Wendell arrived, Nathan said, “She thinks I treat her badly, what do you think?”

“No sir, you’ve been good to her.” Answered the butler.

Nathan leaned back in his chair and said, “Then, remove her from this house immediately.”

Patricia had a look of surprise as she said, “You don’t mean…”

Her father interrupted, “Yes, go find someplace else to live!”

After Wendell escorted her from the estate, Patricia went to a phonebook to look up Beaker’s number. She then called him on her cell phone and told him everything that had happened; at least her version of it.

* * * * * * *

James and Penny were getting ready for bed, when there was a knock at their door. The two got up to see whom it was, and was surprised to see Alan, Stephanie and Nonie at their door, and was more surprised to see luggage with them. “We got evicted.” Nonie said.

A short time later, they explained what had happened. “We just need a place to crash until we find a place to live.” Nonie said.

Stephanie added, “I, of coarse, can pay you rent while we look for a place.” Then looked at Alan and Nonie and continued, “But you’ll have to find away for them to earn their keep.”

James thought for a moment and came up with a solution to the problem. “Those two can work for Penny at the comic book store.” He replied.

“WHAT!” both cried?

Then Alan said, “Us work for hyper-woman.”

“You need a place to stay, Penny needs a crew to work for her, and I don’t see a problem with that.” James responded.

“Great!” Penny added, “We can get up bright and early to start cleaning out the storeroom of all that junk the Collector had.”

“Lucky us.” Alan sighed.

James took them to their rooms. They were each giving a room, and Alan did not have to sleep on a couch for once. Once again, they went to bed. Nonie’s room had twin beds in it and thought that she could have more room if she could get rid of the second bed.

* * * * * * *

“Come on…Wakey-wakey…Time to get up” Penny called out.

Nonie rolled over to see what time it was. “Six, forty-seven!” she wined, and rolled back into position on her bed.

Penny swooshed into Nonie’s room and said, “Get up…we have a big day at the comic book store.” And exited as she entered.

“But it’s six, forty-seven in the morning!” Nonie gripped.

Penny swooshed back into Nonie’s room and said, “It’s six, forty-eight and time to get up!”

Nonie grumbled as she pulled herself out of bed. Penny zips out of her room to get Alan out of bed. Before long, Alan and Nonie were at the breakfast table when Penny asked, “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Waffles.” Alan answered.

“Cocoa Puffs!” Nonie replied.

Penny turned to her and said, “You know, I can make you something else besides cereal?”

“Cocoa Puffs!” Nonie replied.

Penny turned to make the waffles when an arm whizzed past her to the cupboard and pulled out a bowl. Another arm went to another cupboard and grabbed the box of Cocoa Puffs. Nonie placed them on the table and went for the milk and a spoon. “Cocoa Puffs!” Nonie grinned.

Penny asked, “What is it with Nonie and Cocoa Puffs?”

* * * * * * *

An hour after Penny dragged Alan and Nonie to the comic shop, Stephanie went to work. James was at home looking over next weeks match listings when Beaker arrived with someone.

Patricia told James her version of being thrown out of the house by her “wicked fake-daddy”.

“She’s going to need a place to stay.” Beaker said, “If she’s on her own, she might turn to crime.”

James looked at Patricia, batting her baby blue eyes, and sighed, “Alright, but she’ll have to work at the comic book store to earn her keep.”

“I have to work?” Patricia gulped.

James can see how she and Nonie are sisters; both are allergic to work. James took her to Nonie’s room and said, “You’ll be sharing it with your sister, Nonie.” And Patricia dragged her bags into the room.

* * * * * * *

Penny brought Alan and Nonie to the door to the storeroom. The door was locked and Penny forgot the combination. Alan took a cable out of a pocket of his cargo pants, and plug it into a port at the bottom of the locking mechanize, and the other end into his data port and said, “Open says me.”

The door opened and Penny asked, “Can you change the combination?”

“To what?” Alan replied.

“How about, 1-2-3-4?” Nonie said.

“1-2-3-4…” Penny responded, “That’s the stupidest combination I ever heard!”

Alan added, “That’s something an idiot would use on their school locker!”

Hey, I had that on my school locker, Nonie thought then said, Yea! Only an idiot would use that on their school locker!”

“How about…” Penny said, “…0428, my birthday.”

“What year?” Alan smiled and asked.

“Like I’m going to tell you that.” Penny replied, “Besides, this way, you guys can’t say “I forgot your birthday” when my birthday comes along.”

Alan changed the combination to the lock and the three entered the storeroom. Nonie walked over to where she and Patricia were held captive. Alan went to the computer to check out what the Collector had on his hard drive.

Penny stood in the middle of the room and looked around to see what will go first. She set up three piles, one for the things to stay, one to sell, and one for the crap that will go. Penny ran around the room at super speed gathering the stuff and sorting them into piles. After a few minutes, she stopped and noticed that she was the only one working on cleaning the room. “What are you two doing?” as Penny pulled Alan off the computer, “I’m doing ALL the work!”

“But, you seem to be doing find yourself.” Alan replied.

“Okay, you can take this pile to the front room to be sold…” Penny said and turned to Nonie and continued, “…and she can take this pile out to the back alley and throw it away.”

Alan started to take the things from his pile to the sales floor. Nonie noticed the spare Collector’s costume hanging in a closet and asked, “What about this costume of the Collector’s?”

“Pitch it!” Penny said.

Nonie gathered the costume and took it to the back alley and dumped it into the dumpster. She then went back inside to get more stuff.

A man entered the alley. He was fat and bald. His name was Franklin Cummings, and he was on a mission. A mission to get away from his wife, Elizabeth, who had a list of chores, she had for him around the apartment complex. All he wanted to do was to watch the football game. Now he has to miss the rest of the game because he had to hide from her.

“Why did that fat cow has to make me miss the game for?” Franklin sighed, “Now I’ll have to find out who won in tomorrows paper.”

As Franklin walked down the alley, he saw something sticking out of a dumpster, said, “Well what do we have here?”

He looked inside the dumpster and saw the Collector’s costume and said, “Oh Boy! A super costume!”

He removed it from the dumpster and continued, “I can play superhero.”

He started to gather up the rest of the costume, and placed it into a box by the dumpster. Franklin went to the end of the alley to see if anyone was looking, then he left the alley as Nonie brought some more stuff to the dumpster.

* * * * * * *

Penny and her crew returned home after working at the comic book store, cleaning out the storeroom. They entered the front door of their home when Nonie noticed Patricia there, “Hey!” Nonie gripped, “What’s she doing here?”

James answered, “She’ll be living here for awhile.”

“That’s just great”, Nonie gripped, “Plastrica, my arch nemesis, is living in the same house as me.”

James added, “She’ll be sharing your room with you.”

“WHAT!” Nonie cried, “Things couldn’t get any worst than this…”

James interrupted, “And she’ll be working with you guys at the comic book store.”

Patricia grinned, “You should have quit while you were ahead, roomie.”

“Plastrica is a good name for you, because you’re a fake.” Nonie said.

“Well at least I’m not a skinny, flat-chested, crummy die-job, little idiot.” Patricia snapped.

“Oh yea!” Nonie replied.

Patricia smiled, “Oh, that was a great come-back, very intelligent.”

“Then you’ll love this.” Nonie said as she stretched her arm across the room and punched Patricia in the jaw.

Patricia rubbed her jaw and replied, “You’re forgetting…” and stretched her upper body to Nonie and continued, “…I can stretch too.” And grabbed Nonie by her ears and pulled her head to the floor with a slam.

James ran over to break up the fight before something gets broken. He grabbed both by the neck and pulled them apart, and said, “You two want to fight…” he dragged the two to the gym in his house and pushed them against the wrestling ring he had there, “…take it into the ring!”

Nonie and Patricia jumped into the ring and started to beat each other senseless.

The End!