The Collector

By Mark J. DeGregorio

“Nonie Get up You’re going to be late for work, ” Stephanie yelled.

“Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God “ Nonie cried as she jumped from her bed, rushed to grab her clothes, and then remembered, she did not have a job for her to be late to. “Very funny, Steph.”

Stephanie laughed, “Well, it was a funny way to get your butt out of bed.”

Nonie finished dressing, and both went to the kitchen of their small apartment. Nonie sat down at the table, and asked, “So, what’s for breakfast?”

Stephanie faced her roommate and replied, “What do I look like? Your maid? Fix your own breakfast ”

Nonie stretched her arms to the cupboard and retrieved a bowl and box of Cocoa-Puffs. She then proceeded to pour the cereal into the bowl; however, all she could get out of the box was eight little puffs. “Oh No We’re all out of Cocoa-Puffs What will I do?”

“Well, here’s a thought. You could, maybe, go out and buy some at the store. They do have such a thing as a grocery store.” Stephanie enlightened.

Nonie plopped her elbow on the table, then rested her cheek on her hand and sighed, “Swell, this is really turning out to be a really great day.”

Stephanie could detect a slight bit of sarcasm in her voice, and suggested, “Well, you could have some Special K cereal.”

Nonie’s face fell to the table as she retorted, “That’s a boring cereal, and only boring people would eat that.”

“Hey I eat Special K Does that make me boring?” Stephanie snapped.

After a short time of bickering, the girls entered the living room.

Alan had himself attached to Stephanie’s computer, his body laid prone and limped. Inside her computer, Alan was having a ball surfing the Internet. He had on swim trunks, surfing the net on a surfboard when something caught his eye. He jumped off his board to check it out. Alan walked to a control panel, waved his hand over it. When he opened it, Alan had such a smile on his face as he said, “The National Comic Book Convention … that gives me an idea… Merchandising Elasticity ”

Alan started to dream of all the money they could make off this score, and if Elasticity could get publicity out of it, everyone won. Before he had a chance to make any plans, a vortex opened, pulling Alan into it. Swishing through the vortex of wires and circuitry tunnels, Alan exited back into his body.

Stephanie was standing over him, holding the cable, which had him plugged into the computer. She didn’t have a smiley face on; in fact, it was more of an enraged face, as she yelled, “I thought I told you to stay out of my computer.”

A knock at their door saved Alan from Stephanie’s wrath. Nonie stretched her neck out the side window and saw that it was their landlord, Franklin. There was only one reason he would be coming there, THE RENT.

Nonie pulled her head back in and reported, “It’s Franklin He’s coming for the rent ”

“Let’s do plan-27.” Stephanie quietly whispered.

Knocking on the door, Franklin called, “Hey, It’s me…Franklin. Gee, I came to get the rent. Anyone home.”

Nonie replied in a mechanical-like tone, “I’m sorry, Stephanie and Nonie are not home at the moment, but if you leave your name, number, and a short message, we’ll get back to you…. BEEP! ”

“Okay, this is Franklin. My number is 854-1797. I just came to collect the rent. I’ll come back later. Okay…. Bye.” Franklin responded. He then left.

Inside, Stephanie, Alan, and Nonie were laughing themselves silly. Alan laughed, “I can’t believe he fell for that ”

“He’s even more stupider then Nonie ” Stephanie added.

“Yea, he IS even more stupider then me ” Nonie repeated, then after a moment said, “Hey.”

“Well, now that he’s gone…” Alan said, “…Boy, do I have an idea that will make us rich.”

Stephanie frowned, “Alan, if this is another one of your hair-brained schemes …”

“Merchandising Elasticity.” Alan said.

Stephanie snapped, “I knew it! It is another one of your hair-brained schemes! ”

Alan pleaded, “Wait, hear me out. There is a lot of money to make in superhero memorabilia. We could have t-shirts, posters, maybe even action figures.”

Stephanie obviously expecting Alan not to have the answer, asked, “And that’s going to make us rich, how?”

Alan displayed a smirk as he explained, “For every piece of merchandise that sells, we get ten to twenty percent of the profits.” Alan picked up a t-shirt and held it to his sister and continued, “A novelty t-shirt generally cost sixteen to eighteen dollars, ten percent would be one sixty to one eighty a shirt, twenty would get us three twenty to three sixty a shirt.”

Stephanie crossed her arms and responded, “Knowing you, you’ll find a way to goof this up. How are you going to distribute this stuff.”?

“That’s the beauty of it,” he grinned, “at the National Comic Book Convention.”

Stephanie rolled you eyes and sighed, “Oh for the love of God, that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.”

“When can we start?” Nonie asked with enthusiasm.

Stephanie walked back into the kitchen shaking her head while Alan and Nonie started to make plans.

* * * * * * *

The next day Alan and Nonie were still trying to get the merchandise started. For all his genius, Alan had no idea how to get the ball rolling. “I have an idea, we could get Penny to help, and she used to work in public relations.” Nonie suggested.

Alan looked at Nonie with hope and said, “You think she’ll help us?”

“I think she would, I’ll give her a call.” Nonie said, and got up, strolled over to the phone on the kitchen wall, and dialed her number.

When Penny answered, Nonie explained the idea Alan had. By the time Nonie got off the phone with her, Nonie had a smile plastered on her face that Alan did not need to ask, but he did anyway. “She’ll do it She’s coming over right now to help us.” Nonie joylessly said.

Three minutes later, Penny rushed to their front door and called, “Hello I’m here. Let’s get started ”

Alan turned to Nonie and asked, “Did you call her on her cell phone?”

Nonie’s face was of pure shock, as she replied, “No I called her home number.”

Alan left the kitchen to let Penny in said, “That’s at least a ten minute drive.”

Alan opened the door and Penny rushed into the apartment. Puzzled by the swiftness of her arrival, Alan asked, “How did you get here so fast?”

“I ran all the way. Now let’s get started.” Penny replied.

Penny zipped into the kitchen where she appeared to be a blur. She laid on the kitchen table a schedule chart she drew up after she and Nonie talked. Then Penny zipped back into the living room and said, “Come on, haven’t got all day.”

The next few days were as much a blur as Penny, They went to the convention hall to register a booth, to the newspaper office to advertise Elasticity, visited a photography studio for a photo shoot of Elasticity, the printers to make the posters, fliers, life-size cardboard cutouts, t-shirts, trading cards, and a comic book.

They even went to a toy factory to have Elasticity dolls and action figures made. Alan was working on a video game program of Elasticity, while Penny made dozens of phone calls to people in the industry.

Before long, their apartment was filled with everything Elasticity. “I’m pooped.” Nonie griped.

“Yea, I’m exhausted.” Alan added.

Penny, however, was still full of life rallied, “Come on lazy-bones. Up and at it. We still have to hit all the comic book stores.”

As Alan and Nonie got off the couch, Alan mumbled, “When did she become Hyper-Woman?”

* * * * * * *

Alan, Nonie, and Penny had been to seven comic book stores and the last one on the list was Louis’s Comic Emporium. They entered the shop; Penny talked to Louis, the owner, and then started to set up an Elasticity display.

Alan and Nonie assembled the stand and pulled out the Elasticity standee, when Alan whispered to Nonie, “This is what you look like every time you get yourself flattened out.”

Nonie glared at Alan and replied, “Haw-haw, very funny. Just remember, this was your idea.”

Penny approached them and scolded, “Will you two quit your bickering.”

Louis went to the back room to get stock. He picked up a box and turned to return, when he saw something.

Nonie looked around and asked, “Where’s the piece that fits here?”

“I think it’s over there.” Alan replied.

Nonie stretched her neck up three feet and looked around. She spotted the piece she needed and stretched her arm eight feet to retrieve it, “Got it Let’s finish so we can finally get a rest.”

Louis stared in disbelief, whispered, “That girl stretched.” Penny, Alan, and Nonie finished and left. Louis walked over to the Elasticity cutout and realized the stretchy girl was the girl in the cutout display. He looked at the name on the display and said, “Elasticity.”

“She’s a real superhero. And I’m the only one who knows it.” Louis said and walked over to the counter where the paperwork the brunette woman had left. He read the return address in the invoice slip and thought, this is where she must live, and I now know where to find her.

Louis grinned and shouted, “I’m going to have the ultimate collectable, a real superhero, ELASTICITY “ He exited to the back room, went to a door with a numeric keypad, entered a code, and entered the room.

Inside, he had all his best collectibles. He crossed the room to a closet, pulled out a costume and began to put it on. It consisted of red thermal underwear with a “C” on the chest, a belt, a black cap, which use to be a Dracula’s cape, black cowboy boots, and a mask just like Robin the Boy Wonder wore. He took a dramatic stance and said, “Behold, the Collector And I’m going to collect Elasticity for my collection ”

* * * * * * *

After dropping Penny off, Alan and Nonie returned home only to see Franklin waiting to collect the rent. Franklin meekly said, “Elizabeth insists that I get the rent.”

Nonie thought of plan-14, responded, “Yea, we got your message and we mailed you a check for the rent, you should get it in a week.”

Franklin smiled and said, “Oh good, Elizabeth will be so happy to here that. Thanks, bye.”

As soon as Franklin left, Alan asked, “Are you two ever going to pay the rent?”

“With all the bills we racked up, as soon as we can get it,” she answered. The two entered the apartment and found Stephanie with that vein on her forehead. “Uh- oh ”

“Oh Alan…” Stephanie spoke through clenched teeth, “may I have a word with you “ She looked at Nonie and continued, “You too, Nonie ”

“When you came up with this hair-brained scheme, I said you’d find a way to goof it up. I had no idea I was going to be up to my ass in Elasticity crap!” Stephanie yelled, and turned to face the merchandise that had collected in their apartment. Nonie quickly grabbed a cutout of herself as Elasticity and set it where she was standing, then ran and hid in the closet.

“When did this apartment become a warehouse for your Elasticity crap ” Stephanie continued, “…and you, Nonie, should know…”

Stephanie walked to Nonie, grabbed her flipping her over to see the back was white cardboard. She looked around the room, walked to the closet door and opened it slightly. She stuck her hand in and pulled out a rubbery nose, followed by Nonie’s head trying to catch up to her elongated nose by stretching her neck. Stephanie pulled her over to the middle of the room and continued, “I don’t care how you do it, but I want this crap out of this apartment before tomorrow.”

“But where are we going to keep this stuff until the convention?” Alan protested.

Stephanie glared at her brother and snapped, “I don’t know, in a storage unit, or maybe you can dump it off at your third partners' place. Just get it out of here now ”

“But, what should I do?” Nonie asked.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and said, “I don’t know, just make yourself useful, and go do the laundry.”

* * * * * * *

Nonie grumbles all the way to the laundry mat. She spent all day working and now she has to do laundry. Where does Stephanie get off making me do all the laundry she thought? The very least she could’ve done was to let me use her car instead of the bus.

Louis, a.k.a. the Collector, was waiting and watching her every move from his car. He had parked in front of her apartment. When Nonie left with the laundry, he followed her to the bus stop.

The bus pulled up and Nonie got on. The collector followed until she got off at the laundry mat. Nonie was still grumbling as she entered the building. She picked out a washer, opened the bag of laundry she had been carrying, and started to placed the clothes into the washer.

Patricia Connling was passing by the laundry mat, saw Nonie and decided to have some fun with her. She snuck up behind her. Nonie had just finished loading the washer when she heard a familiar voice sang from behind her.

“This is the way she does her wash, does her wash, does her wash, so stupidly in the day.”

Without looking Nonie growled, “Patricia.”

Patricia moved along side of Nonie and teased, “Oh now this poor washer is going to have to be fumigated because your clothes touched…”

Nonie slammed the washer’s door into Patricia’s face, flattening it. Nonie joked, “Gee Patricia, you sure have a deadpan expression.”

Patricia shook her face back to normal, and then gave Nonie an uppercut. This sent Nonie’s neck stretching three feet. “Haw I knocked your block off.” Patricia ranted.

The long-necked Nonie gave Patricia an uppercut. This sent her neck stretching three feet. “Haw And I knocked your block off too ” laughed Nonie.

Louis came to the window of the laundry mat and peeked in. He saw the girl known as Elasticity and another elastic girl fighting like the Rock’n Sock’n Robots. Wow, there are two super-powered girls, Louis thought, the brunette must be her archenemy.

By this time, the two rubbery girls had transformed into their costumes without missing a punch. Both girls had intertwined themselves so closely, if it were not for the color scheme of their costumes, it would be hard to tell what belonged to whom. Finally, the two girls broke off the fight, pulling themselves apart.

“Behold, I am the Collector ” came from the other side of the room.

Both Elasticity and Plastrica turned to see who said it then started laughing at the sight of the ridiculous outfit he wore.

“And I’ve come to add you to my collection.” He boasted. Both girls continued to laugh.

The Collector continued, “Both hero…” pointed at Elasticity “…and villain…” as he pointed at Plastrica.

Plastrica snapped, “Who’re you calling a villain, you fat little dork. ”

Elasticity turned to Plastrica and joked, “I guess he calls it as he sees it.”

“…excuse me, I’m talking here.” The Collector interrupted, “Now where was I, oh yea…and you’re both my prisoners.”

“Ooooh, we’re his prisoners “ Plastrica mocked.

Elasticity added, “And how are you going to capture us?”

The Collector replied, “Like this.” He reached out and grabbed two hoses from a large tank mounted to the large dry-cleaning machine and started to spray them. The two girls jumped around screaming at the cold feeling of the liquid being applied to their bodies.

“Hey! Cut that out! That’s cold! What is that stuff?” both screamed in unison.

“Liquid starch ” smiled the Collector, and in a few moments, Elasticity and Plastrica could not move. Both were stuck in a waiting pose. The Collector walked around them looking them over. After a few moments, he thought out loud, “Wait a minute, how am I going to get you guys back to my lair? You’re not going to fit in my car like that.”

“Good ” Patricia replied.

Elasticity added, “Serves you right.”

The collector glanced around the room, saw a clothing steam press, and said, “There’s an idea, the steam press.”

If the girls could change their expressions, if would be of shock. He first lifted Plastrica up and carried her to the press. Elasticity was glade that it was Patricia being flattened and not her. He placed Plastrica on the steam table and forced the lid down. There was a loud hissing sound as steam escaped. When there was no more steam, he lifted the lid and slid off what looked like a cutout of Plastrica. He then leaned her flattened body against the wall.

To Nonie’s surprise, the Collector walked over to her, lifted and carried her to the steam press. This isn’t fair, Nonie thought as he placed her on the steam table and pulled down on the lid. Like with Plastrica, the steam rushed from between the two plates of the press. When the steam had dissipated, he opened the lid, revealing a cardboard like cutout of Elasticity. He lifted her off the steam table and placed her with Plastrica.

The Collector went to the door to see if anyone was watching. When he was sure the coast was clear, he gathered up the flattened rubber girls, loaded them into the backseat of his car. “I hope you’ll love your new home at my comic book store.” He informed them, and drove away.

* * * * * * *

“What is keeping that little bird-brained Nonie?” Stephanie demanded, “How long does it take to do a load of laundry?”

Alan was looking out the window, responded, “Maybe she got lost, or missed the bus.”

“Or maybe she’s out goofing off somewhere ” Stephanie presumed. She looked at her brother and commanded, “Come on Let’s find little miss rubber band. And for her sake, she’d better have the wash done.”

The two siblings went to Stephanie’s car, Alan asked, “Hey, how about I drive?” Stephanie gave him a death stare. “Or maybe not.”

A short while later, they were at the Laundromat they always used. Stephanie almost blew her top when she saw the clothes still in the machine, and still dirty. “What was that little idiot doing all this time ” She yelled, and began to pace when she slipped on some liquid on the floor.

Alan started to laugh at his sister when she collided with the floor. “That was funny Steph Do it again ”

“Sure ” and Stephanie grabbed Alan by his pant leg and gave a hard tug, sending him to the floor, “Laugh that off ”

Alan looked up, saw a security camera, and said, “Hey, I have an idea, I could jack into the laundry mat’s security system to see what happened.”

Alan looked for an input to plug into and found one at the base of the camera. He took a cord and plugged it into an adapter and then to the port on the camera, and then he plugged the other end into data port in the back of his neck.

Alan found himself pulled into laundry mat’s security system through a vortex of wires and circuitry tunnels until he materialized into the main frame of the system’s computer. He walked to a control panel and waved his hand over it. Another panel appeared and Alan touched a series of buttons and opened the camera’s tape.

The first thing he decided to do was to watch the instant re-play of Stephanie slipping on the stuff that was on the floor. After he was finished laughing at Stephanie, went back to the time Nonie was suppose to be at the laundry mat.

Surprised at what he saw, Alan said, “Hey, Nonie and Patricia had been captured by some goofball wearing a ridiculous costume.” Alan left the system and informed Stephanie about the guy calling himself the Collector. The two headed back to the apartment to get help. Shortly, James, Penny and Beaker came over to help in the search for Nonie.

* * * * * * *

The Collector pulled up to his store, got out and removed Elasticity and Plastrica from the back seat of his car. He carried them in and leaned their flattened forms against the wall as he entered a code into the keypad. The door opened and he grabbed the girls, carried them into the back room, and down to the sunken room past his collection of comic book memorabilia, and leaned them against the wall on the opposite side of the room, facing his computer.

“Here we are, home sweet home.” He said, “I can’t wait till all the guys see what I got.” In addition, he adjusted his eye cam to let his friends see the hero and villain he has added to the collection.

In her stiffened form, Plastrica complained, “This is all your fault Nonie

Why did you have to bring me into your problems?”

Unable to move, Elasticity responded, “Don’t blame me for you being here; if you hadn’t come into the laundry mat to torment me, you wouldn’t be here now ”

The Collector removed his mask, to let his friends know it was him. Louis got on the Internet to his favorite group and wrote to them about the addition to his collection.

“Any ideas on how we are going to get out of here.” Plastrica asked.

Elasticity replied, “Why do I have to think of a way out?”

“You’re supposed to be the hero.” Plastrica snapped.

“And you’re the villain.” Elasticity joked.

“I am not, repeat, NOT a Villain “ Plastrica loudly stated.

Louis sent his letter and was now entering a chat room with his friends from his Internet group. “Guys Here they are “ Louis said, “I have two, real superhero and super villain…”

Plastrica screamed, “How many times do I have to say…I’m not a villain ”

“… Elastic girls.” Louis continued, “You can even hear them talk, so you know they’re real.”

He removed the eye cam from the top of the monitor, and held it closer to the cardboard rubber girls and said, “I nabbed them at a laundry mat, starched and pressed them and brought them here.”

“I’m getting tired of hearing that story.” Elasticity gripped.

He placed the cam back on his monitor and continued to brag to his nerdy friends. Elasticity and Plastrica continued to figure out how to get out of the mess they’re in. “Well my friends will come and save us.” Elasticity said.

“You mean the geek is going to save the freak.” Plastrica teased.

“Or maybe they’ll leave you behind.” Elasticity retorted.

* * * * * * *

At that precise moment, Alan had an idea, go on the Internet and look for

Nonie. “That’s a stupid idea, ” Stephanie hollered.

“Hear me out, Steph…” Alan begged, “…If I were a comic book fanatic, and I captured a hero, I would probability start bragging to my friends over the Internet.”

Alan picked up a cord and plugged it into an adapter and then to the USB port on Stephanie’s computer, finally he takes the other end of the cable and plugs it into the data port in the back of his neck.

Alan found himself pulled into Stephanie’s computer through a vortex of wires and circuitry tunnels until he materialized into the main frame of the computer. He walked to a control panel and waved his hand over it. Another panel appeared and Alan touched a series of buttons and opened the screen. “Now let’s see what I can find here.”

Alan touched another series of buttons on the new panel, “Keyword, hero.” He muttered.

One thousand nine hundred and seventy two items appeared in the search. “Okay, that was a big help. Let’s try this.”

Alan typed ‘Rubber girl, Elastic girl’ and two hundred and nineteen items appeared. “Now that’s better, let’s add Elasticity to the search.”

Two items appeared, one in an E-mail to a comic book group; the other to a web cam. Alan went to another control panel and printed the E-mail.

He then opened the web cam and saw Nonie and Patricia being held prisoner by the geek in the laundry mat video. Alan pressed the Save button and saved the whole brag session.

Alan exited Stephanie’s computer and called up the file and transferred it to a CD. He turned to the others and said, “Here is the evidence, and they’re at that comic store, Louis's Comic Emporium.”

“Okay, I have a plan,” Penny said, “Alan and Beaker will go in as a couple of comic book geeks and keep the Collector busy. Stephanie and I will sneak in from the back, James will wait outside in the alley as back-up in case things get all fouled up.”

* * * * * * *

After they left to save Nonie, Elizabeth approached her other half and asked, “Well, did you get the rent from those two girls in 202?”

Franklin smiled and replied, “Yea, well… not exactly,”

“What did you mean, not exactly?” Elizabeth inquired.

He responded, “They said they mailed it to us. We should get it in a week or so.”

Elizabeth’s face began to turn crimson red. Her eyes began to bulge out as she roared, “FRANKLIN You stupid bald-headed twit Only a moron like you would fall for that excuse ”

“Well I didn’t know…” he whined.

Elizabeth crossed her arms, which usually meant she was pist-off and interrogated him, “What happened when you went there earlier?”

Franklin swallowed and replied, “Well, no one was home, so I left a message on their machine.”

By this time, an eruption of steam gushed out of her ears as she bellowed, “Of all the STUPIDEST things Since when do doors have answering machines?”

“Well I didn’t know…” he whined again.

Now she was beyond “pissed-off” and became furious. “Why did you ever buy this building if you can’t manage it ”

Franklin continued to whine. “Well I didn’t know…”.

Elizabeth glared at her stupid, cue ball, head of a husband and said, “The second thing I’m going to do is evict those trouble making kids in 202 ”

Franklin curiously asked, “So, what’s the first thing you’re going to do?”

She balled her hand into a fist and said, “This ” and she slammed it into Franklin’s face, sending him to the floor.

“That’s for you being so stupid,” she walked to the desk and opened the drawer. Elizabeth pulled out a envelope marked “Eviction Notices” and began to fill one out, “Good bye Miss Foster Good bye Miss Turner ” She then wrote on the bottom in red lettering.

Don’t go away mad,

just GO AWAY!

She walked out the door and placed the notice on Stephanie and Nonie’s door of their apartment.

* * * * * * *

At Louis’s Comic Emporium, Alan and Beaker was putting Penny’s plan into operation. They were suppose to be comic books geeks going in to buy comics. Alan knew why Beaker was picked to be a geek, but why him. Beaker wore glasses and looked like a scientist, but he looked normal, except for the data port in the back of his neck, and the fact he spent many hours in a computer, so how does that make him a geek.

The two enter the shop. As the door opened and closed, it rang the bell set over the door. Louis quickly grabbed a overcoat to cover his Collector’s costume. “Duty calls Now don’t you two pretty girls go anywhere…” as he headed to the door, Louis stopped and turned to give them a finial glance and continued, “…not that you could go anywhere, mind you.” And exited the room.

Elasticity asked, “When is this starch going to wear off?”

“It’ll have to be washed out of us, you bone head ” snapped Plastrica.

Outside, Penny and Stephanie were at the cellar window. Penny pulled out a glasscutter and cut a hole into the window. Stephanie stuck her hand through the hole and unlocks the window. The two girls crawled through the opened window, and quietly moved to the door with a numeric keypad.

“Now what?” Stephanie griped.

Penny looked at the keypad and said, “I’ll start entering codes until it opens.”

Stephanie sighed, “But that could take forever…” and stopped when she saw Penny entering twenty-eight, four digit codes, per second. After one minute, thirty seven seconds, or, two thousand, seven hundred and sixteen codes, the door opened.

Penny glanced at an astonished Stephanie and said, “Ever since my encounter with Linda and those potions I fell onto, I found I can move at super speed. Cool huh?”

Stephanie blinked a few times and replied, “Uh yea, well let’s get the little nit-wit and get out of here.” And the two entered the room, setting off a silent alarm by breaking an infrared eyebeam.

The silent alarm got Louis’s attention and he started to go back into the back room when Alan and Beaker ran over to him and asked, “We’re looking for the back issue of Unlikely Heroes number 128.”

“What ” Louis stopped and asked, “I never heard of Unlikely Heroes ”

Penny and Stephanie went down three steps to the main room. From across the room they could see the flattened forms of Nonie and Patricia leaning against the wall. “Nonie, you’re taking this thinnest of yours, a little too far.” Stephanie teased.

“Just shut up and get us out of here ” Plastrica demanded.

“Wait, I got another,” Stephanie laughed, “Nonie, I see you’re flat as your personality ”

On the main floor, Beaker got on one side of Louis, and Alan was on the other as he said, “You haven’t heard of Unlikely Heroes, let me tell you about them.”

Louis looked at his watch as Alan rambled, “You see, It’s a book about a group of goof-ball heroes. They got their powers from a freak accident. So they decide to use their powers to do good…”

Becoming annoyed, Louis snapped, “Do you know how many titles start that way?”

“Anyway…” Alan continued, “they go out on patrol and get into messes, bungle their way though missions and save the day.”

Impatiently waiting, Louis stared at this rambling idiot standing before him, and noticed the cardboard cutout of Elasticity set up from behind the boring fool and realized he had seen him before.

“Wait a minute You were with that Elasticity girl ” Louis exclaimed.

He pulled off his overcoat revealing his Collector’s costume and removed a revolver from the coat pocket. Waving the gun, he indicated Alan to move to where Beaker was standing, adding, “There was a brunette woman with you.” He pointed to the door to the back room and continued, “I take it she’s in there.”

Inside, Penny had Plastrica while Stephanie carried Elasticity when she came up with yet another joke, “Here’s another, I think her acting is a little stiff.”

As they reached the steps to the door, the Collector entered with Alan and Beaker in tow. Beaker knew this was bad, used his telepathy to summon James waiting in the back alley. The Collector placed the gun on Alan’s temple and said, “Alright ladies, now put the cutouts down and don’t try anything stupid.”

They set Plastrica and Elasticity down, leaning them against the wall.

“Good, now step away from the rubber girls. And I want to see your hands.”

Penny raised her hands, however, Stephanie’s hands were behind her. “That means you too, Blondie,” The Collector informed her.

Stephanie lifted her left hand. With her right hand still behind her, she grabbed a bobble head collectable. “Both hands Blondie.”

Before anyone could act, Stephanie threw the bobble head at the Collector. He saw the statue coming towards him and jumped back, dropping the gun. Unfortunately, Stephanie’s aim was not her strong suit and Beaker was about to be hit in the face with the collectable. Instinctively, Beaker threw his arms up to block the statue, which broke his watch. He began to transform to his true form, blue- skinned, fangs, and claws.

When the Collector saw this happened, he screamed and ran out of the room, just like Dr. Smith on Lost in Space, after he'd seen a monster. He was only gone a few seconds before the Collector literally flew back into the room, followed by James. “I hope he has flight insurance.”

Everyone was still in shock at Beaker’s transformation, while James tied up the Collector. When the initial shock wore off, Stephanie asked, “Is there something you want to tell us, Beaker?”

“Later, right now we need to get Nonie and Patricia to James’s house to restore them to normal.” Beaker responded.

James added, “Penny, you Alan and Stephanie stay here and wait for the police to pick up the Collector, then come over to the house.”

“Alright.”

* * * * * *

After a few good washings, the starch had been removed from their bodies and Nonie and Patricia were back to normal. James immediately had an idea. He swiftly grabbed the phone and called his broker. He told him to buy the comic book store, which he’s going to have Penny run. (mainly to keep her occupied)

Penny, Alan, and Stephanie arrived and Stephanie demanded, “Okay, we’re here. It’s time for you to give us some answers.”

Beaker turned towards them, still blue, and explained, “You remember that spaceship you found, well, it belongs to an alien Association. James and myself are members of the crew…”

James coughed, “Actually, I’m the captain of the ship, known as the Terisen.”

“Anyway…” Beaker continued, “after the crash, I was to keep an eye on you, to make sure nothing happened to you.”

“Blab-blab-blab This is boring. Can I leave now?” Patricia griped.

Beaker turned to Patricia and said, “This also concerns you.”

“What,” Nonie spouted, “why does this concern her!”

Beaker adjusted his glasses and replied, “Because the two of you are fraternal twin sisters.”

Both Nonie and Patricia’s jaws dropped. They pointed at each other said in unison, “You mean I’m related to her?”

To be Continued!